JESTS AND GESTURES

Rubber brains

no@spam.com (King.s Joker) — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 14:04:33 GMT

A friend of mine has told me a story about a lecture on neurophysiology in their university. Their don brought a real human brain preserved in alcohol and a rubber model. He starts explaining the brain structure on the model. Everything goes wrong, the model falls apart. The don says: "My rubber brain is a trouble indeed..." The audience starts giggling. But his next phrase brought them to laughing out loud. He said: "Real brain is better, but I have so little left".

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Erase'em All!

no@spam.com (King.s Joker) — Tue, 17 Oct 2006 10:37:32 GMT

Plextor today announced its new PlexEraser PX-OE100E CD/DVD destroyer. The new PlexEraser drive delivers a secure environmentally friendly method of destroying CD/DVD discs to security-conscious companies and individuals. The standalone unit operates without the need of a PC and is an alternative to disc shredders that are currently available. Plextor believes the PlexEraser will find its use in finance, government/military, research industries and companies with sensitive data.

The Plextor PlexEraser PX-OE100E destroys CD/DVD discs by using a laser beam that kills off data recording portions of optical discs. Discs that have been put through the PlexEraser PX-OE100E are rendered unrecoverable and safe to throw away in a regular fashion, though the discs can be run through a CD/DVD shredder for increased security.

Eight types of CD/DVD�s are supported with the PlexEraser PX-OE100E drive including CD-R, CD-RW, DVD-R, DVD+R, DVD-RW, DVD+RW, DVD-R DL, and DVD+R DL discs. Smaller 8cm discs are also supported by the PlexEraser PX-OE100E as well. As far as timing goes, Plextor claims the average data destroying time is around three minutes for single-layer CD-R/RW, DVD+R/RW and DVD-R/RW discs while dual-layer discs take a little longer at around six minutes.

In addition to its data destroying capabilities, the Plextor PlexEraser PX-OE100E has a 35 decibel noise output and low power consumption. The device is also labeled with a bright orange tray and bright yellow warning stickers to prevent the accidental destruction of discs.

The PlexEraser PX-OE100E is expected to ship to distributors next month with an M.S.R.P. of $249.99 USD. It will be available in North and South America and have a one year warranty with unlimited toll-free technical support. The PlexEraser was unofficially announced earlier this year.

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IBM acronyms

no@spam.com (King.s Joker) — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 12:40:59 GMT

IBM: It's Being Mended
IBM: Inmense Ball of Muck
IBM: I Believe in Memorex
IBM: It's Better than Macintosh!
IBM: Idiots Built Me
IBM: Intense Bowel Movement
IBM: Inferior But Marketable?
IBM: I've Been Mislead
IBM: It's Better Manually
IBM: Infinitly Better Macintosh
IBM: Indefinitly Boggled Machine
IBM: I Bought a Mac
IBM: I Blame Microsoft.
IBM: I Bought Macintosh
IBM: I'll Buy Macintosh
IBM: I've Been Moved
IBM: I've Been Mugged
IBM: Incontinent Bowel Movement
IBM: Identical Blue Men
IBM: Idiotic Bit Masher
IBM: Idiots Become Managers
IBM: Incompatible Business Machines
IBM: Incredibly Boring Machine
IBM: Infernal Bloody Monopoly
IBM: Institute of Black Magic
IBM: Internal Beaurocratic Mess
IBM: International Brotherhood of Magicians
IBM: Intolerant of Beards and Mustaches
IBM: It'll Be Messy
IBM: It's Backwards, Man
IBM: Itty Bitty Machines
IBM: Itty Bitty Morons
IBM: It Barely Moves
IBM: I Buy Mainframes
IBM compatible - IBM contemptible

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Is Windows a Virus?

no@spam.com (King.s Joker) — Mon, 09 Oct 2006 13:11:11 GMT

No, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses do:

1.They replicate quickly - okay, Windows does that.

2.Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so - okay, Windows does that.

3.Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk - okay, Windows does that too.

4.Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems. Sigh... Windows does that, too.

5.Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware. Yup, Windows does that, too.

Until now it seems Windows is a virus but there are fundamental differences: Viruses are well supported by their authors, are running on most systems, their program code is fast, compact and efficient and they tend to become more sophisticated as they mature.

So Windows is not a virus.

It's a bug
Mood: Nice
I want: to make you laugh

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The top ten reasons why the television is better than the World Wide Web

no@spam.com (King.s Joker) — Fri, 06 Oct 2006 13:17:18 GMT

10. It doesn't take minutes to build the picture when you change TV channels.

9. When was the last time you tuned in to "Melrose Place" and got a "Error 404" message?

8. There are fewer grating color schemes on TV--even on MTV.

7. The family never argues over which Web site to visit this evening.

6. A remote control has fewer buttons than a keyboard.

5. Even the worst TV shows never excuse themselves with an "Under Construction" sign.

4. Seinfeld never slows down when a lot of people tune in.

3. You just can't find those cool Health Rider infomercials on the Web.

2. Set-top boxes don't beep and whine when you hook up to HBO.

1. You can't surf the Web from a couch with a beer in one hand and Doritos in the other.

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New Net for Skippy!

no@spam.com (King.s Joker) — Fri, 06 Oct 2006 12:33:20 GMT

The Australian company Telestra has launched a $1bln 3G-net NEXT G today morning. Telstra has fulfilled its promise, and the new net will provide a hi-speed mobile access to the net for 98% of Australians.

NEXT G sets a new national record, being 100 times larger and 5 times quicker than any Australian 3-G net, and providing 12 TV-channels Foxtel, download of movies and sports programs. This product may bring Telestra to the leading position already next May.
(http://www.telstra.com/nextg)

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Funny pictures

no@spam.com (King.s Joker) — Tue, 03 Oct 2006 13:42:23 GMT

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HACKING

no@spam.com (King.s Joker) — Tue, 03 Oct 2006 12:25:27 GMT

Of course, my Sirs/Madams, hacking does not belong to the field of jests, but it's a topic I'm very interested in. And here I'd like to mention some good old methods of hacking via search engines (e.g. Google).

1) to get inline passwords, type 'http://*@www" bob:bob' in the query, or 'http://*@www'followed with the the domain name without the .com or .net.

2) a great lot of things may appear at the query 'index.of.password'

3) 'access denied for user', 'using password' can display the username, database, path names and partial SQL code

If anyone knows some other popular ways of hacking, I invite you to share experience/opinions.
Mood: ALWAYS OK

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Hello, guys! The King's Joker is with you!

no@spam.com (King.s Joker) — Tue, 03 Oct 2006 11:20:32 GMT

Hi, ~~chaps~~ Dears Sirs/Madams!

Finally I am here, at Qaix forum!
And the basic preoccupation of a Jester - is to crack wise and joke.

Let's get down to work! To jokes I mean.

I liked this one
http://www.basicjokes.com/djoke.php?id=5472

Read it carefully and write your comments.
Mood: ALWAYS OK
I want: to make you laugh

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